How people who hanged themselves are buried. Suicides - funeral and funeral service, church view
According to church canons, suicides (this also includes those killed in a duel, criminals killed during a robbery, people who insisted on euthanasia) and even those suspected of suicide (it is not customary to hold a funeral service for those who drowned under unknown circumstances) cannot be buried in church or commemorated in church prayer during the Liturgy and at funeral services. Suicides are not buried in cemeteries near churches. There are opinions that the dead “lovers” of extreme “sports” can be classified as suicides, because they, really realizing the mortal danger of such activities, still risked their lives for the sake of empty joy. In fact, drug addicts, substance abusers and alcoholics are suicides.
However, in the well-known pre-revolutionary manual for clergy S.V. Bulgakov, with reference to the resolution of the Holy Synod of July 10, 1881, states that those who died from heavy drinking (unless it is proven that they drank with the aim of poisoning themselves with alcohol) are not considered suicides, on the basis that "...for death from heavy drinking is preceded by a clouding of reason, which does not happen when using other means of conscious suicide...". Although, obviously, almost all drunkards are aware that excessive alcohol consumption is fatal to health. Not everything is simple in cases of death of drug addicts from an overdose, since immediately before taking the drug the drug addict is conscious, unlike a binge alcoholic who takes the last already fatal portions of alcohol in a clearly insane state.
Exception is done only for suicides suffering from obvious mental pathology and who are on official psychiatric registration. In such cases, it is necessary to provide the ruling bishop of your diocese with a certificate from the psychiatric institution that once supervised this unfortunate person, and write a corresponding petition asking him to bless the church commemoration of such a person. Almost always such a blessing is given...
Who are we deceiving, ourselves or God?
However, as practice shows, our people, especially those of little faith and church “goers,” attach excessive and false importance to the church funeral service, as to some kind of magical action, after which the deceased automatically goes to heaven.
Meanwhile, according to the teachings of the Church, the human soul goes through terrible ordeals on the third day after death. At this time, the soul of the deceased has a great need for the prayerful help of relatives and the Church. To facilitate the transition of the soul to another life, the canon and psalter are read over the coffin by the relatives, and the funeral service is performed in the church. The primary importance of this service is comfort of the soul of the deceased, and only then asking the Lord for mercy for the soul, asking for sins, which, alas, are not automatically forgiven in absolutely all cases.
It’s hard to see with what simply maniacal persistence parents almost extort from the clergy a blessing for the funeral service of their suicidal children, who have never suffered from mental disorders. Who are we deceiving? The priest, turning to the Lord, sings: “...rest with the saints...”. Who will you rest with the saints?! Suicide?! Who, moreover, despised the Church of Christ for years, just like his parents, who began to be baptized only when a terrible thunder struck?
Saint Innocent of Irkutsk, according to, among other things, apostolic rules, asked relatives who brought the dead to the church for the funeral service: "When was the last time he was on duty?" - “About six months ago.” - “Take the coffin. We have no right to perform a funeral service for such people.”
The Church prays only for its members, but almost always people who have long ago arbitrarily cut themselves off from the body of the Church reach suicide. The Lord said: “I am the vine, and you are the branches; whoever abides in Me, and I in him, he bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. Whoever does not abide in Me will be cast out like a branch and wither; and such branches They are collected and thrown into the fire, and they are burned."(John 15:5-6) - they contain both great consolation for faithful Christians and a terrible warning for those of little faith and apostates.
Here are two letters from Archimandrite John Krestyankin, confessor of the Pskov-Pechersk Monastery:
“Dear A. in the Lord! You cannot remember and pray for your mother in church, because there are canons that cannot be disobeyed. Disobedience will entail terrible consequences for the disobedient. He will give himself over to the power of the enemy. But what is possible - he writes about this Bishop Benjamin. And we send you the Canon about someone who died without permission. Read this canon at home for 40 days every day, and read the prayer of Leo of Optina for your mother all your life. Also give alms for your mother to those in need. Nothing more can be done. Even if someone gives you permission to pray in church, it will be to the detriment of both your mother and you., for no one can cancel the canons of the Church. And obedience to them will bend the Lord to mercy on you and your mother. God bless you!".
“Servant of God V.! You cannot violate church canons with impunity. You cannot pray for your brother in church. You were fussing about his funeral service, now at least stop collecting the wrath of God on your head. You can only pray for suicides at home, and not at all report them in church, neither at the Liturgy nor at the memorial service. The Lord is their judge, and you suffer for disobedience."
The manic persistence of relatives of suicides is often driven by a subconscious desire to shift all responsibility for the future fate of their murdered child to the Church. Meanwhile, the greatest blame lies, first of all, with parents who live in unbelief and who did not give their child the proper faith from a young age, which he could easily rely on in difficult times.
Therefore, it is more correct to take responsibility ourselves, and privately (at home) to undertake the feat of prayer (but not arbitrarily, but blessings and under certain conditions), with faith that the Lord will give some relief to the soul of a suicide.
However, everything is not so simple here...
Pray, but carefully
Over the past few years, several brochures have been circulating, which contain a commemoration at home prayer about suicides with the canon “O those who died without permission” and the prayer of St. Leo, the Elder of Optina. This is a publication of a certain Moscow parish (by the way, printed without the blessing of His Holiness the Patriarch); publication of the Holy Dormition Pskov-Pechersky Monastery (also without the archpastoral blessing); this canon and prayer were included in the book published by the Sretensky Monastery - “Prayers for the Dead” (I have not personally seen the publication, and I don’t know whether it was blessed by His Holiness the Patriarch). A small book, “How to Pray for Suicides,” which is a copy of the first two with a number of additions, was published in 2004 with the blessing of Archbishop Nikon of Ufa and Sterlitamak.
Despite the fact that the creator of the canon, Metropolitan Veniamin (Fedchenkov) was a remarkable ascetic of Orthodoxy of the 20th century, in the report of His Holiness Patriarch of Moscow and All Rus' Alexy II at the Council of Bishops in 1997 http://www.sedmitza.ru/index.html? sid=50&did=40 they say “More control is needed over the publication and introduction of new liturgical texts in order to avoid such misunderstandings as the publication by one Moscow parish of the theologically and canonically dubious “Canon of those who died without permission.” Indeed, it is noteworthy that all the prayers about suicides, which are now recommended, with certain reservations, for private (home) reading, relate only to the last century. In the detailed pre-revolutionary manual for clergy of the same S.V. Bulgakov, unfortunately, there is no explanation of how home commemoration of suicides should be carried out, except perhaps:
"...by the Samara spiritual consistory in 1894, the refusal of one of the clergy to bury according to the Orthodox rite a woman who hanged herself while drunk, was recognized as correct; and the local Eminence on this resolution of the consistory put forward the following resolution regarding the said woman: “I only allow perform commemoration, with alms in her memory, but I don’t dare allow her funeral service according to the Orthodox rite."
A single conciliar church opinion on PURPOSE prayer cell (home) commemoration of the souls of suicides,
to alleviate their condition in hell, or even save them from hellNO
One of the brochures, which discussed the possibility of commemorating suicides, cited one pre-revolutionary story.
“In the city of Buzuluki, near Orenburg, at one time there lived a rich man. He had a beloved son. At that time, they found him a bride, and she was not to his liking. They wanted to marry him, and he hanged himself out of resentment. For his parents, it was terrible blow. They are believers, they applied to many churches and monasteries - they asked to pray. And everyone refused. We went to the holy city of Jerusalem, and there they refused. Holy Mount Athos refused... They found one recluse who advised them to cast a bell at his own expense at a bell factory. the largest bell and donate it to the church. And so they did. When the bishop began to consecrate the bell, he struck it 12 times, as required, the sound came out heavy, mournful, and the bishop said: “You can’t ring them either on holidays or during fasting, but only when they take out the deceased." The walls of the bell tower often fogged up, from this moisture the floor in the bell tower constantly rotted and was often replaced. And then a letter came from the Holy Mountain, in which it was written: we tried to pray for the suicide, but the Lord does not accept our prayers, He does not even accept the ringing of a bell... The bell was taken down and buried in the ground.”
The young man who committed suicide was young, baptized, I think, like everyone else then, he attended divine services much more often than modern Christians of little faith, took Holy Communion, fasted, confessed his sins to the priest, and, judging by the morals of that time, it is unlikely that he sinned gravely. And why was this young man pardoned? It is, alas, that now young people, by the age of twenty, go through all the circles of hell: unbelief, hatred of parents, adultery, abortion, envy, lies, drugs, foul language, passion for the occult... But from a human point of view, even such incredible zeal of parents - try In the 19th century, to travel all over Europe would seem to deserve the attention and condescension of God. However, the Lord will judge whatever he finds you doing...
On the other hand, Archimandrite John (Peasant), confessor of the Pskov-Pechersk monastery, wrote in one of his letters to a mother whose son committed suicide: “But you really cannot pray for your son in church - this is the definition of the Holy Councils of the Holy Fathers, this is the canon. Praying at home, with all your sorrowful and wounded soul facing God, is absolutely necessary. But the answer is the work of God, we cannot predict it and decide for We cannot God. Having maintained obedience to the Church, leave in your soul the hope of God's mercy in your mother's prayer. Read the Canon for the one who arbitrarily interrupted his life(written by Metropolitan Benjamin - approx. MS),if possible and willingly. For the first time, try to read 40 days daily. And let the prayer that is in the canon console you every day, and it will help your son. It is good to give alms to those in need for your son. hope and faith are lamps in our life. And the Lord is mercy and love. That's what we hope for."
All these commemorations collected in this brochure are only the private opinion of individual members of the Church. Their righteousness and holiness, alas, is not a guarantee of the correctness of their advice or consistency with God's will. Unfortunately, we are now full of people who blindly identify the opinion of a pious elder or ascetic with the opinion of God himself, like “the words of the elder are the words of God.”
Hieronymus Bosch. Fragment of the triptych "The Last Judgment" - right wing "Hell", 1504
Not every black soul can be whitened by God's mercy and grace
The Holy Apostle John, the apostle of “love,” as he is sometimes called in the Church, commanded: “If anyone sees his brother sinning a sin that does not lead to death, let him pray, and God will give him life, that is, he who sins a sin that does not lead to death...” however, he warned immediately "...there is a sin leading to death: I do not mean that he should pray"(1 John 5:16), that is, people who are in such a fallen state that any prayer for their salvation futile.
Or here - "Whoever does not love the Lord Jesus Christ is anathema, maran-afa"(1 Cor. 16:22). Terrible words!
The Gospel Scriptures and the Apostolic Epistles do not give reason to believe that Christ can save people by force, and the soul of a person who did not take care to cleanse it himself during his life through repentance and faith in Christ is unlikely to be cleansed by the Lord, even if relatives fervently pray for it.
Archimandrite Ambrose (Yurasov) gives this story:
“The Lord does not want the sinner to die, and whoever turns to Him is saved. He calls everyone to repentance, He loves everyone and wants not a single soul to perish. It is not for nothing that the Lord Himself took on human flesh, came down to earth and suffered for us. This means that He suffered for everyone, no matter how many people there were, are and will be in the world.
But man is given free will - to repent, to accept the living Christ, or to reject Him.
When I served in the Transfiguration Cathedral, I often had to go to services around the city. One day I went on a call; I enter the apartment, they greet me and say: “Father, there is a man here - he is 51 years old, his name is Anatoly - he should be given unction and communion.” I went in and looked: after the operation, there was a patient lying there; his intestines had been removed into his stomach. Next to it is a bottle of water with a pacifier on it. His lips are constantly dry, he holds this pacifier in his mouth. I ask:
-Anatoly, when did you confess?
- Never.
- Do you want to confess and receive communion?
- But I have nothing to repent of!
- Well, how about it? You never went to church in your life, you didn’t pray to God, you cursed, you drank, you smoked, you fought, you lived unmarried with your wife. All life is pure sin.
- I don’t want to repent of this!
And the women standing nearby said:
- Anatoly, how?! After all, you agreed to call the priest. You need to repent - your soul will immediately feel good.
- I don’t want to repent.
I talked to him, spent 20 minutes, and said:
- Now - imagine - Christ Himself has come to you in the Holy Mysteries, waiting for your repentance. If you do not repent and take communion, you will die - evil spirits will take your soul. And I would be glad to repent later, I would be glad to improve - but you will no longer have such an opportunity. We must repent while we are alive.
- I’ll get what I deserve! - speaks.
I finished talking and started getting dressed. And the women (neighbors) began to convince him, saying: “Anatoly, come to your senses - what are you saying! After all, it is so important for every person (especially the sick) to repent before death!” And he tells them:
- Don't try to persuade me.
I got dressed:
- Well, goodbye. If he wants to confess, let him know, we will come.
And one of them is suitable:
- Father, talk to him for the last time: maybe he will agree. I walked up and sat down next to him:
- Well, Anatoly, do you want to repent or not?
He is silent. I look, and his eyes glaze over. I speak:
- Yes, he is dying.
Women:
- How? He felt good!
“He’s dying,” I see: he sighed three times - and his soul came out. Of course, demons took this unrepentant soul. That's where the fear, horror is! After all, man has left this world for Eternity. Billions of years of suffering in the fire will pass - this is just the beginning, there will never be an end. And this was such a wonderful opportunity to repent! Not all people are worthy to have a priest come to them and bring the Holy Mysteries - the Body and Blood of Christ... These are the terrible deaths that happen.”
Can God save such a person who does not want to be saved? And who can guarantee that the suicide at the time of death did not have the same attitude towards God and His Church?
Some may reasonably note that there is demagoguery here - whether it is useful or not useful to pray with home prayer for suicides; according to Christian mercy and compassion, it is imperative to pray for such, and the Lord will judge. At first impression, such judgments seem justified. However...
When praying, prepare for serious temptations
Real prayer is not ecstatic meditation, it is work, but prayer for suicides, unbaptized people and great sinners is hard work! During which you will encounter strong spiritual temptations and deteriorating health of not only the prayer booker himself, but possibly all members of his family.
There is reason to believe that, perceiving the memory of the soul of the deceased, the person praying at the same time becomes, as it were, a companion of his spiritual state, enters the area of his spiritual yearnings, comes into contact with his sins, unpurified by repentance.
If the deceased was an Orthodox Christian and once in earthly life turned to God with a prayer request for mercy and forgiveness, then the one praying for him with the same prayers bows to him God's mercy and forgiveness. What if the soul passed into another world in a mood hostile to the Church? How can one, praying for an unbaptized person or a baptized person who has departed from the faith, allow oneself to come into some contact with that atheistic mood with which their soul was infected? How to accept into your soul all those ridicule, blasphemy, crazy speeches and thoughts with which their souls were full? Doesn't this mean exposing your soul to the danger of being infected by such sentiments? Those who reproach the Church for lack of mercy should think about all this.
An indicative case is from the life of the holy Venerable Seraphim of Sarov, he said that he managed to beg some great sinner, and after that, he, a great righteous man, a monk, was seriously ill for several months.
What awaits Christians who are not as righteous as St. Seraphim of Sarov, who undertook with his prayers to “save” a dear relative who killed himself?! Great temptations and health problems.
Experience shows that with the beginning of a private prayer commemoration not even about a suicide, but about an unbaptized parent who died, alas, in unbelief, almost immediately the disease almost immediately spread to the person praying, then to the wife (husband), and then to the children. Lord have mercy! I know a woman who prayed earnestly for her unbaptized father during pregnancy - it ended in a miscarriage.
One of the Ufa priests told me a case when, in the already distant Soviet years, a young man who began to zealously go to church, due to his excessive zeal, decided to save the souls of the dead, whose bodies lie in the Demskoye cemetery near the city of Ufa. There he compiled a large list with the names of the deceased, and prayed for the repose of everyone. Wild scandals began in the family between him and his wife, it came to divorce, his already adult children committed all serious sins; Of course, illnesses appeared, and the spiritual life of this person changed not for the better. The holy venerable Moses of Ufa, to whom this Christian then turned for advice, first of all asked him for whom he was praying. When he spoke about his prayerful “feat”, the first words of the monk were not at all biblical: “Are you a fool?!”, and then strictly forbade him to do this, pointing out that there were many serious sinners there: suicides, atheists, drunkards and etc.
Praying for relatives who have not been baptized in Orthodoxy is also not easy.
The conversation about unbaptized people was not started by chance. In practice, it turns out that a person is not only a suicide, but also a non-Christian.
The canon to St. is well known. Martyr Uar for unbaptized people. However, few people carefully read the story accompanying this canon about how, through the prayers of this righteous man, one unbaptized young man was pardoned, and interpreted what was told into life.
This young man, firstly, was a young man, pardon the pun, which means that, due to his age, he did not have time to sin many and seriously; secondly, apparently, he was pious; thirdly, he had a very pious Christian mother (you agree, this is important); fourthly, he knew about Christ, and, apparently, was preparing to receive Holy Baptism, but did not have time (before, Christians went to the catechumens not for a week or two, but for months, or even years); fifthly, those who were catechumens in those days necessarily sincerely repented of their sins, even without a priest’s confession, so who can object to me that such sincere repentance of sins is not spiritually beneficial and useless? What exactly am I leading to? Such a pious young man, the son of a pious Christian mother, already well-disposed towards Christ, was not worth the trouble of begging Saint Huar before God.
Now let’s imagine, for example, a woman who died at an advanced age, who lived in unbelief, blasphemed, fornicated, had abortions, stole (who didn’t steal in Soviet times?), etc., in short, with a great variety of all kinds of unrepentant sins. What can one hope for when trying to pray for her salvation to the holy intercessor Uar?!
However, the souls of relatives are still troubled in despair; is it really impossible to save or improve the situation of suicides, as well as unbaptized relatives?
If your spouse is pregnant, if there are infants and small children in the family, STRICTLY REFRAIN from praying at home for suicides and unbaptized people, especially for unbaptized suicides, in order to avoid health problems for small family members, pregnant and lactating women.
If all of the above conditions do not apply to you, of course, you can try to dare this home prayer feat. However NECESSARILY take a blessing from the priest, and if he refuses, do not act outrageously - this will not end well, and remember “obedience is greater than fasting and prayer.”
It is better to begin your prayer feat by imposing a fast on yourself (necessarily with a blessing!) or during multi-day fasts, if forty days after death no one privately prayed for such dead people. The Monk Nektary of Optina advised at least three Christians to pray together at once. Before and while you pray, confess and receive Holy Communion often, preferably even weekly (again, with blessing). Eat a piece of prosphora and holy water every day. Order a magpie about the health of yourself and close family members. Remember, prayer for suicides and great sinners is a great spiritual feat, do not do it casually, from time to time. I repeat, it is quite possible that by perceiving the memory of the soul of the deceased, the person praying at the same time becomes, as it were, a companion of his spiritual state, enters the area of his spiritual yearnings, comes into contact with his sins, unresolved by repentance. Naturally, nothing good can be expected from this. Even such a great ascetic as Seraphim of Sarov found it difficult to pray for some grave sinner.
There is another, I think, very pious and correct way of receiving mercy from God for a person. Read, along with prayers, the Gospel for the salvation of his soul, one or two chapters a day - “Faith therefore comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”(Rom. 10:17). Where will saving faith in Christ come from for a deceased unbaptized and suicide suicider of little faith if he does not know "words of God"? Alas, this is our common misfortune - many Orthodox Christians, even grandmothers who participate in divine services almost every day, do not read, or read little of the Holy Scriptures.
If you began to pray, and you, your loved ones, children began to have serious health problems, immediately give up your efforts and simply resign yourself, trusting in God’s mercy about the fate of this person’s soul.
“The justice of God will not make mistakes, and with this, reassure yourself, as much as possible.” - the already mentioned archimandrite wisely wrote John (Peasant).
Resigned with the fact of the suicide of a person close to you, live a worthy, righteous Christian life with faith in Christ the Savior, so that your soul is reunited with the Lord after death in paradise, and there directly from Him Himself find out the Divine will for this case. If there is a certain benefit from your prayers to a suicide, pray fervently while already in the Kingdom of God. Christians ask for righteous prayers from the saints of God, now standing before Him in paradise, for themselves and their deceased relatives. So what prevents a Christian who finds himself in heaven from praying for his relatives who are in hell?
Save yourself, and thousands around you will be saved - do not forget these words of St. Seraphim of Sarov.
Lord, have mercy and save us!
Maxim Stepanenko, supervisor
Missionary Department of the Ufa Diocese
Russian Orthodox Church
Ufa Diocesan Gazette, No. 2-3, 2006. –P. 8-9.
Choose life with Christ!
"For God so loved the world,
that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16)
“Choose life, so that you and your descendants may live, love the Lord your God, listen to His voice and cleave to Him; for in this is your life and the length of your days...” (Deut. 30:19-20)
The purpose of our article is to help everyone who wants to understand everything that has to do with suicide. Where they are allowed to be buried, how suicides are commemorated, and what help can be provided to them who find themselves in the afterlife by living relatives. We will also talk about what awaits the souls of those who chose suicide over life.
Orthodoxy's attitude towards suicide
Suicide is considered a terrible sin by Orthodoxy. It is even put on the same level of severity as violation of one of the 9 commandments. After all, a murder is being committed and it does not matter that one’s own flesh is being killed. By deciding to take such a step, a person demonstrates his lack of faith in the Lord, who is able to help him if he turns to him.
His audacity extends so far that he assumes the authority of God to decide his own destiny. At the same time, he does not allow the thought that the tests were sent down to him to harden his spirit when passing the next test. The souls of those who commit suicide are destined to wander forever and be subjected to ordeals.
Even the church cannot forgive this sin. After all, this implies repentance of the person who committed the inappropriate act. Not only is sin not forgiven, but the church is disgusted by praying for the soul of someone who has voluntarily left this world. There is no generally accepted church commemoration for him, and corresponding notes with his name cannot be submitted.
It is very difficult to help a soul tormented in the afterlife. Relatives who turn to the church for clarification are always told that commemorating the deceased in this way is strictly prohibited. True, there are situations when, as an exception, a funeral service is held, but you will have to obtain special permission for this.
Christian scriptures about when to remember those who committed suicide
Christian canons contain special mention of those who end their lives by suicide. This happened for the first time in 385. Then the Alexandrian Patriarch Timothy wrote the fourteenth canon. It was in the form of questions and answers. It spoke of the possibility of commemorating a suicide, but this can only be done when it has been established for certain that at that moment the person was beside himself.
The next church council in 452 established that the reasons for suicide lie in devilish malice, and therefore it is considered a crime. At another council, but held in 563, a ban was imposed on funeral services for people who committed suicide. They could not be buried according to the customs of the church, they could not follow the body to the grave, and over time, for such dead people, even digging a grave on consecrated ground was prohibited.
How to bury a suicide
So how can a suicide be buried? Until relatively recently, the place for their grave was chosen on unconsecrated ground. Most often it was the side of the road. Today, burials are allowed only in a general cemetery, but the deceased cannot be buried, and it is forbidden to hold memorial services for him.
In addition, the church has established some other restrictions:
- A cross cannot be placed on the grave of a suicidal person, as it is a symbol of faith. And the one who himself interrupted his life’s path, according to the church, abandoned it.
- A crown cannot be placed in the coffin, symbolizing the tests sent by God, which the sinner refused to undergo.
- The body of the deceased cannot be covered with a church veil, which is a symbol of patronage, which is denied to the deceased due to the action he performed.
All of the above testifies to the categorical approach of the church to the issue of burying suicides. She has a whole set of rules from which she almost never deviates.
How to remember a suicide in Orthodoxy
So how does the commemoration of suicides take place in Orthodoxy if the traditional form for this is not available? For those who prefer death to life, there is no church prayer or memorial service. It must be remembered that the prayer addressed to the holy martyr Huar can be offered exclusively for those who have reposed without receiving baptism. That is, it does not apply to suicides.
However, something must be said about special days - Ecumenical Parental Saturdays, on which all the dead, without exception, are remembered. Even despite the fact that during the service the commemoration is of a general nature, the souls of suicides can bring some relief.
After all, the prayer offered is general and extends even to souls in hell. This is the main difference between Parents' Saturday. Therefore, for those whose relatives have passed away voluntarily, prayers should be offered on this day with double zeal.
Relatives of those who committed suicide must remember that it will not be possible to hide this fact when ordering prayers. There are cases when prayer for the repose of the soul was not effective. The Lord refused to accept prayer for such a deceased person. Thus, a sign was given that the deceased had committed suicide.
On special occasions in commemoration
The Church recognizes the existence of special exceptions, thanks to which those who committed suicide can be remembered. However, priests are allowed to perform funeral services only for some of them. Thus, a sin can be forgiven to a person if there is confidence that at the time of its commission the person did not have the ability to control his actions.
This may be triggered by mental illness or severe insanity caused by some events. Confirmation of the availability of such a possibility must be obtained by the relatives of the deceased at a medical institution.
Before conducting the funeral rite in this case, it is necessary to obtain the blessing of the bishop ruling at that time. It must be in the form of written permission. Only after this the action can be performed.
For making an independent decision indicating that a clergyman deviates from existing rules, he will be punished. Moreover, he can not only be removed from his duties for a certain period of time, but also defrocked.
What can relatives do to ease the fate of the souls of suicides?
If a family has suffered such a misfortune as the suicide of one of its members, then relatives should familiarize themselves with the rules of commemorating those who committed suicide. It goes without saying that there can be no talk of commemoration in church, since this is prohibited.
However, relatives are allowed to participate in consolatory prayers that are held on remembrance days. A prayer service is read by a clergyman in the temple, but only for mourning relatives. In no case can it be called a memorial service. Its commission is excluded near the funeral table with the coffin. It was decided to approve this action in 2011 in order to console relatives.
In addition to the rite that was discussed earlier, there are some other rules for commemorating suicides. This is how the use of a special cell reading of the prayer of the Most Holy Elder Leo of Optina is practiced. It goes without saying that in order to begin its implementation, you should secure the blessing of a priest.
The most effective method that allows you to provide all possible assistance to the soul of a deceased person of his own free will in the afterlife is giving alms to those in need and a pious lifestyle for all relatives.
It is also recommended to perform independent prayers. They can be performed both in the temple and at home. In addition, lighting candles in the temple for the repose of the soul and asking the Lord for mercy is also an effective way.
The commemoration of the dead on the eve of the Holy Trinity dates back to the times of the apostles and was established due to the fact that the event of the Descent of the Holy Spirit concluded the economy of human salvation, but the deceased also participate in this salvation. Therefore, the Church, sending up prayers on Pentecost for the revival of all living by the Holy Spirit, asks on the very day of the holiday that for the departed, the grace of the All-Holy and All-Sanctifying Spirit of the Comforter, Whom they were vouchsafed during their lifetime, be a source of bliss, since by the Holy Spirit “every soul is alive.” ". Therefore, the Church devotes the eve of the holiday, Saturday, to the remembrance of the departed and prayer for them. Saint Basil the Great, who composed the touching prayers of Vespers of Pentecost, says in them that the Lord especially on this day deigns to accept prayers for the dead and even for “those kept in hell.”
It is worth noting the danger of many parishioners being tempted to commemorate suicides on this day, assuming that absolutely all the departed are commemorated on Trinity Parental Saturday, regardless of how they left this world.
But this is a misconception! There is no day on which it would be possible to remember a suicide once a year in the Church. There is no such rule. The Orthodox Church never, under any circumstances, has the right to remember suicides as those who independently interrupted one of God’s greatest gifts - life itself.
This misbelief arose from a misunderstanding of the texts of the canon, which is read in church on Trinity Saturday. It talks about those who drowned, about those who were strangled. But not about those who strangled themselves or who hung a millstone around their own neck and drowned themselves. We are talking about those who were drowned and those who were hanged. But not at all about suicides. Because a suicide - this is both grief and sadness - is a person who returns the gift given to him by God back to Him. That is, a person denies God’s mercy, denies hope, and so on. Suicides cannot find a dignified rest after death, and many theologians of the Russian Church testify to this.
Moreover, Church canons prohibit “offering and prayer” for suicides(14th rule of Patriarch Timothy of Alexandria), as having deliberately cut themselves off from communion with God. The validity of this rule is confirmed by the spiritual experience of ascetics, who, daring to pray for suicides, experienced irresistible heaviness and demonic temptations. These temptations were very dangerous, to the point of mental insanity and the fact that the person praying himself began to experience an irresistible urge to commit suicide.
You need to pray home prayer ( but she also needs to take the priest’s blessing), perform acts of mercy, virtue, and live piously. And a pious life will bear fruit if we understand that what motivates us to this piety is the memory of a relative who passed away in such a sinful way. By doing good deeds in life for the sake of our relative, we believe that the Lord will ease the fate of the deceased. But for us this will also be a protection - the Lord protects the pious from all evil, from all attacks of the enemy.
An exception is made only for mentally ill people - they can be commemorated. Because a mentally ill person is not responsible for his actions, and therefore he is given leniency.
Of course, it is impossible for a priest who did not know the deceased in his life to decide how to relate to such a death, and relatives and friends of suicides, meeting the priest’s refusal to perform a funeral service, leave the Church without receiving consolation.
In this regard, the Holy Synod of the Russian Orthodox Church blesses, for the purpose of spiritual nourishment of the flock and uniformity of pastoral practice, it proposes, without performing funeral services for suicides and “offerings” for them, that is, commemoration in church, to teach consoling prayers to the loved ones and relatives of such deceased.
The name of the rite speaks for itself - “prayerful consolation of relatives”, and not “service of repose”, this service will be served specifically for relatives, for their consolation and strengthening in grief. There was no talk about funeral services and commemoration of people who committed suicide!
So, DO NOT submit suicide notes. Commemoration of suicides in the Temple is possible only if the following conditions are met:
- in the presence of an official medical report indicating that the person committed suicide in a state of insanity, in a state of insanity;
- and if you have a bishop’s blessing for their funeral service and church commemoration: to receive it you need to contact the bishop of your diocese.
Only the diocesan bishop can give permission for funeral services for suicides. A funeral service without such a blessing will be unauthorized and impermissible. Such careless action is very dangerous and unpredictable.
BUT:
It is possible to commemorate suicides at home: The Optina elders allowed commemoration of suicides only at the request of close relatives and only with a short prayer, which should roughly look like this: “Lord, if You can, have mercy on Your servant (the person’s name).”
It is IMPOSSIBLE to order memorial services and a funeral service for a person who himself willfully refused this in advance and ordered his relatives not to perform a funeral service for him.
What should you do if you submitted a note about a person who, according to Church rules, cannot be commemorated in the Temple?
- if this happened, then it is necessary to tell the priest about it in confession.
Touching custom of Trinity Semik
There used to be such a concept - semik. This was the name for Thursday of the seventh week after Easter, just before Trinity Sunday. On this day, the burial ceremony of all those who died an unfortunate death was performed. And for this purpose, special places were set aside outside the city, where so-called wretched houses or barns were erected, in which one large common grave was built. For several months, the bodies of the executed, drowned, burned, wanderers, and in general everyone who did not belong to any parish and about whom nothing was known were brought here. Patriarch Filaret ordered to bury in such graves those “who get drunk on wine, or kill themselves, or kill themselves from a swing, or drown while swimming, or poison themselves, or do some other evil thing to themselves.” That is, those who could not be buried in church cemeteries. Twice a year: on Trinity Semik and before the Feast of the Intercession of the Virgin Mary, the clergy and pious people solemnly, in processions of the cross, went to poor houses. A general memorial service was held there, during which the souls of slaves from the unknown death of the dead were remembered, “their names, Lord Himself, weigh (you know).” Later, Patriarch Adrian stated: “those killed in robbery and theft themselves should not be placed in cemeteries and wretched houses, but buried in the forest or in the field without commemoration in the seventh week.”
The pious custom of giving alms at memorials continues in our time, when this is the only form of help (except for home prayer) to those who have left this life without joining the Church of Christ or by self-will.
Home prayer for suicides, unbaptized and non-Orthodox.
Prayer for the dead has a dual purpose: to ask God for mercy to the deceased and to bring consolation to the living. The Church does not forbid personal, home prayer for loved ones who died unbaptized, but only at home and, taking into account the above, with spiritual precautions. Naturally, the person praying must himself be a baptized Orthodox Christian and, when praying for an unbaptized relative or a suicide, take a blessing from a priest.
The prayer for the unbaptized is based on an incident that occurred in Optina Hermitage. One day, a student turned to the Optina Elder Leonid (in the schema Leo, who died in 1841) in inconsolable grief over his deceased suicidal father, asking whether and how he could pray for him. To which the elder replied: “Submit both yourself and the fate of your parent to the will of the Lord, wise and all-powerful. Pray to the Most Good Creator, thereby fulfilling the duty of love and the duties of a filial, virtuous and wise in spirit like this:
“Seek, O Lord, the lost soul of my father: if it is possible, have mercy! Thy destinies are unsearchable. Do not make this my prayer a sin for me. But let Thy holy will be done.”
You can pray with this prayer at home for relatives who have taken their own lives without permission, but given the certain spiritual danger described earlier, to perform prayer at home you must definitely take a blessing from the priest. From the patristic heritage there are known cases when, through the intense prayer of loved ones, the fate of the souls of suicides was alleviated, but in order to achieve this, one must perform a feat of prayer.
Often on the eve of Trinity Parents' Saturday, disputes arise about the possibility of church commemoration of suicides. There is an opinion among the people that on Trinity Parental Saturday the Church remembers everyone, including suicides.
We repeat again and again - church commemoration of suicides by name is PROHIBITED. There is no memorial service for suicides and there are no special days of remembrance for them, and church prayer is NOT offered for them. The prayer to the holy martyr Huar is offered not for suicides, but for the unbaptized.
In the hymns of Trinity Parental Saturday there are words in which we ask the Lord to bestow His mercy on those who have committed suicide, but at the same time there is still no commemoration by name, and particles are not taken out at the Liturgy for suicides. That is, Suicides are NEVER remembered(if there was no blessing for the funeral service).
For suicides, you can pray to your relatives yourself at home prayer, asking the Lord to show mercy to sinners who have raised their hands on their lives.
Currently, most of those who committed suicide are people who were baptized, but who did not receive either church education or church care. They end their lives not as a result of conscious opposition to God and the Church, but because they are “out of mind,” although this is not recorded by medical evidence. It is impossible for a priest who did not know the deceased in his life to decide how to relate to such a death, and relatives and friends of suicides, meeting the priest’s refusal to perform a funeral service, move even further away from the Church, without receiving consolation.
In this regard, the Holy Synod of the Russian Orthodox Church blesses, for the purpose of spiritual nourishment of the flock and uniformity of pastoral practice, it proposes, without performing funeral services for suicides and “offerings” for them, that is, commemoration in church, to teach consoling prayers to the loved ones and relatives of such deceased (The rite of prayerful consolation of relatives who died without permission). But it should be taken into account that this rite is not a memorial service, and is not performed either at the coffin, or at the grave, or at the funeral table in the church. This rite is actually a prayer service for consolation and support of the grieving relatives of the suicide. That is, such a prayer service will be performed specifically by separate agreement with the priest and always in the presence of relatives - in the temple.
This issue is covered in more detail in the following article.
If suicide has occurred, is it possible to alleviate the fate of the soul of the suicide?
According to church canons, suicides (this also includes those killed in a duel, criminals killed during a robbery, people who insisted on euthanasia) and even those suspected of suicide (it is not customary to hold a funeral service for those who drowned under unknown circumstances) cannot be buried in church or commemorated in church prayer during the Liturgy and at funeral services. Suicides are not buried in cemeteries near churches. There are opinions that the dead “lovers” of extreme “sports” can be classified as suicides, because they, really realizing the mortal danger of such activities, still risked their lives for the sake of empty joy. In fact, drug addicts, substance abusers and alcoholics are suicides.
However, in the well-known pre-revolutionary manual for clergy S.V. Bulgakov, with reference to the resolution of the Holy Synod of July 10, 1881, states that those who died from heavy drinking (unless it is proven that they drank with the aim of poisoning themselves with alcohol) are not considered suicides, on the basis that "...for death from heavy drinking is preceded by a clouding of reason, which does not happen when using other means of conscious suicide...". Although, obviously, almost all drunkards are aware that excessive alcohol consumption is fatal to health. Not everything is simple in cases of death of drug addicts from an overdose, since immediately before taking the drug the drug addict is conscious, unlike a binge alcoholic who takes the last already fatal portions of alcohol in a clearly insane state.
Exception is done only for suicides suffering from obvious mental pathology and who are on official psychiatric registration. In such cases, it is necessary to provide the ruling bishop of your diocese with a certificate from the psychiatric institution that once supervised this unfortunate person, and write a corresponding petition asking him to bless the church commemoration of such a person. Almost always such a blessing is given...
Who are we deceiving, ourselves or God?
However, as practice shows, our people, especially those of little faith, church “goers,” attach excessive and false importance to the church funeral service, as to some kind of magical action, after which the deceased automatically goes to heaven.
Meanwhile, according to the teachings of the Church, the human soul goes through terrible ordeals on the third day after death. At this time, the soul of the deceased has a great need for the prayerful help of relatives and the Church. To facilitate the transition of the soul to another life, the canon and psalter are read over the coffin by the relatives, and the funeral service is performed in the church. The primary importance of this service is comfort of the soul of the deceased, and only then asking the Lord for mercy for the soul, asking for sins, which, alas, are not automatically forgiven in absolutely all cases.
It’s hard to see with what simply maniacal persistence parents almost extort from the clergy a blessing for the funeral service of their suicidal children, who have never suffered from mental disorders. Who are we deceiving? The priest, turning to the Lord, sings: “...rest with the saints...”. Who will you rest with the saints?! Suicide?! Who, moreover, despised the Church of Christ for years, just like his parents, who began to be baptized only when a terrible thunder struck?
Saint Innocent of Irkutsk, according to, among other things, apostolic rules, asked relatives who brought the dead to the church for the funeral service: "When was the last time he was on duty?" - “About six months ago.” - “Take the coffin. We have no right to perform a funeral service for such people.”
The Church prays only for its members, but almost always people who have long ago arbitrarily cut themselves off from the body of the Church reach suicide. The Lord said: “I am the vine, and you are the branches; whoever abides in Me, and I in him, he bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. Whoever does not abide in Me will be cast out like a branch and wither; and such branches They are collected and thrown into the fire, and they are burned."(John 15:5-6) - they contain both great consolation for faithful Christians and a terrible warning for those of little faith and apostates.
Here are two letters from Archimandrite John Krestyankin, confessor of the Pskov-Pechersk Monastery:
“Dear A. in the Lord! You cannot remember and pray for your mother in church, because there are canons that cannot be disobeyed. Disobedience will entail terrible consequences for the disobedient. He will give himself over to the power of the enemy. But what is possible - he writes about this Bishop Benjamin. And we send you the Canon about someone who died without permission. Read this canon at home for 40 days every day, and read the prayer of Leo of Optina for your mother all your life. Also give alms for your mother to those in need. Nothing more can be done. Even if someone gives you permission to pray in church, it will be to the detriment of both your mother and you., for no one can cancel the canons of the Church. And obedience to them will bend the Lord to mercy on you and your mother. God bless you!".
“Servant of God V.! You cannot violate church canons with impunity. You cannot pray for your brother in church. You were fussing about his funeral service, now at least stop collecting the wrath of God on your head. You can only pray for suicides at home, and not at all report them in church, neither at the Liturgy nor at the memorial service. The Lord is their judge, and you suffer for disobedience."
The manic persistence of relatives of suicides is often driven by a subconscious desire to shift all responsibility for the future fate of their murdered child to the Church. Meanwhile, the greatest blame lies, first of all, with parents who live in unbelief and who did not give their child the proper faith from a young age, which he could easily rely on in difficult times.
Therefore, it is more correct to take responsibility ourselves, and privately (at home) to undertake the feat of prayer (but not arbitrarily, but blessings and under certain conditions), with faith that the Lord will give some relief to the soul of a suicide.
Pray, but carefully
Over the past few years, several brochures have been circulating, which contain a commemoration at home prayer about suicides with the canon “O those who died without permission” and the prayer of St. Leo, the Elder of Optina. This is a publication of a certain Moscow parish (by the way, printed without the blessing of His Holiness the Patriarch); publication of the Holy Dormition Pskov-Pechersk Monastery (also without the archpastoral blessing); this canon and prayer were included in the book published by the Sretensky Monastery - “Prayers for the Dead” (I have not personally seen the publication, and I don’t know whether it was blessed by His Holiness the Patriarch). A small book, “How to Pray for Suicides,” which is a copy of the first two with a number of additions, was published in 2004 with the blessing of Archbishop Nikon of Ufa and Sterlitamak.
Despite the fact that the creator of the canon, Metropolitan Veniamin (Fedchenkov) was a remarkable ascetic of Orthodoxy of the 20th century, in the report of His Holiness Patriarch of Moscow and All Rus' Alexy II at the Council of Bishops in 1997 http://www.sedmitza.ru/index.html? sid=50&did=40 they say “More control is needed over the publication and introduction of new liturgical texts in order to avoid such misunderstandings as the publication by one Moscow parish of the theologically and canonically dubious “Canon of those who died without permission.” Indeed, it is noteworthy that all the prayers about suicides, which are now recommended, with certain reservations, for private (home) reading, relate only to the last century. In the detailed pre-revolutionary manual for clergy of the same S.V. Bulgakov, unfortunately, there is no explanation of how home commemoration of suicides should be carried out, except perhaps:
"...by the Samara spiritual consistory in 1894, the refusal of one of the clergy to bury according to the Orthodox rite a woman who hanged herself while drunk, was recognized as correct; and the local Eminence on this resolution of the consistory put forward the following resolution regarding the said woman: “I only allow perform commemoration, with alms in her memory, but I don’t dare allow her funeral service according to the Orthodox rite."
A single conciliar church opinion on PURPOSE prayer cell (home) commemoration of the souls of suicides,
to alleviate their condition in hell, or even save them from hellNO
One of the brochures, which discussed the possibility of commemorating suicides, cited one pre-revolutionary story.
“In the city of Buzuluki, near Orenburg, at one time there lived a rich man. He had a beloved son. At that time, they found him a bride, and she was not to his liking. They wanted to marry him, and he hanged himself out of resentment. For his parents, it was terrible blow. They are believers, they applied to many churches and monasteries - they asked to pray. And everyone refused. We went to the holy city of Jerusalem, and there they refused. Holy Mount Athos refused... They found one recluse who advised them to cast a bell at his own expense at a bell factory. the largest bell and donate it to the church. And so they did. When the bishop began to consecrate the bell, he struck it 12 times, as required, the sound came out heavy, mournful, and the bishop said: “You can’t ring them either on holidays or during fasting, but only when they take out the deceased." The walls of the bell tower often fogged up, from this moisture the floor in the bell tower constantly rotted and was often replaced. And then a letter came from the Holy Mountain, in which it was written: we tried to pray for the suicide, but the Lord does not accept our prayers, He does not even accept the ringing of a bell... The bell was taken down and buried in the ground.”
The young man who committed suicide was young, baptized, I think, like everyone else then, he attended divine services much more often than modern Christians of little faith, took Holy Communion, fasted, confessed his sins to the priest, and, judging by the morals of that time, it is unlikely that he sinned gravely. And why was this young man pardoned? It is, alas, that now young people, by the age of twenty, go through all the circles of hell: unbelief, hatred of parents, adultery, abortion, envy, lies, drugs, foul language, passion for the occult... But from a human point of view, even such incredible zeal of parents - try In the 19th century, to travel all over Europe would seem to deserve the attention and condescension of God. However, the Lord will judge whatever he finds you doing...
On the other hand, Archimandrite John (Peasant), confessor of the Pskov-Pechersk monastery, wrote in one of his letters to a mother whose son committed suicide: “But you really cannot pray for your son in church - this is the definition of the Holy Councils of the Holy Fathers, this is the canon. Praying at home, with all your sorrowful and wounded soul facing God, is absolutely necessary. But the answer is the work of God, we cannot predict it and decide for We cannot God. Having maintained obedience to the Church, leave in your soul the hope of God's mercy in your mother's prayer. Read the Canon for the one who arbitrarily interrupted his life(written by Metropolitan Benjamin - approx. MS),if possible and willingly. For the first time, try to read 40 days daily. And let the prayer that is in the canon console you every day, and it will help your son. It is good to give alms to those in need for your son. hope and faith are lamps in our life. And the Lord is mercy and love. That's what we hope for."
All these commemorations collected in this brochure are only the private opinion of individual members of the Church. Their righteousness and holiness, alas, is not a guarantee of the correctness of their advice or consistency with God's will. Unfortunately, we are now full of people who blindly identify the opinion of a pious elder or ascetic with the opinion of God himself, like “the words of the elder are the words of God.”
Hieronymus Bosch. Fragment of the triptych "The Last Judgment" - right wing "Hell", 1504
Not every black soul can be whitened by God's mercy and grace
The Holy Apostle John, the apostle of “love,” as he is sometimes called in the Church, commanded: “If anyone sees his brother sinning a sin that does not lead to death, let him pray, and God will give him life, that is, he who sins a sin that does not lead to death...” however, he warned immediately "...there is a sin leading to death: I do not mean that he should pray"(1 John 5:16), that is, people who are in such a fallen state that any prayer for their salvation futile.
Or here - "Whoever does not love the Lord Jesus Christ is anathema, maran-afa"(1 Cor. 16:22). Terrible words!
The Gospel Scriptures and the Apostolic Epistles do not give reason to believe that Christ can save people by force, and the soul of a person who did not take care to cleanse it himself during his life through repentance and faith in Christ is unlikely to be cleansed by the Lord, even if relatives fervently pray for it.
Archimandrite Ambrose (Yurasov) gives this story:
“The Lord does not want the sinner to die, and whoever turns to Him is saved. He calls everyone to repentance, He loves everyone and wants not a single soul to perish. It is not for nothing that the Lord Himself took on human flesh, came down to earth and suffered for us. This means that He suffered for everyone, no matter how many people there were, are and will be in the world.
But man is given free will - to repent, to accept the living Christ, or to reject Him.
When I served in the Transfiguration Cathedral, I often had to go to services around the city. One day I went on a call; I enter the apartment, they greet me and say: “Father, there is a man here - he is 51 years old, his name is Anatoly - he should be given unction and communion.” I went in and looked: after the operation, there was a patient lying there; his intestines had been removed into his stomach. Next to it is a bottle of water with a pacifier on it. His lips are constantly dry, he holds this pacifier in his mouth. I ask:
-Anatoly, when did you confess?
- Never.
- Do you want to confess and receive communion?
- But I have nothing to repent of!
- Well, how about it? You never went to church in your life, you didn’t pray to God, you cursed, you drank, you smoked, you fought, you lived unmarried with your wife. All life is pure sin.
- I don’t want to repent of this!
And the women standing nearby said:
- Anatoly, how?! After all, you agreed to call the priest. You need to repent - your soul will immediately feel good.
- I don’t want to repent.
I talked to him, spent 20 minutes, and said:
- Now - imagine - Christ Himself has come to you in the Holy Mysteries, waiting for your repentance. If you do not repent and take communion, you will die - evil spirits will take your soul. And I would be glad to repent later, I would be glad to improve - but you will no longer have such an opportunity. We must repent while we are alive.
- I’ll get what I deserve! - speaks.
I finished talking and started getting dressed. And the women (neighbors) began to convince him, saying: “Anatoly, come to your senses - what are you saying! After all, it is so important for every person (especially the sick) to repent before death!” And he tells them:
- Don't try to persuade me.
I got dressed:
- Well, goodbye. If he wants to confess, let him know, we will come.
And one of them is suitable:
- Father, talk to him for the last time: maybe he will agree. I walked up and sat down next to him:
- Well, Anatoly, do you want to repent or not?
He is silent. I look, and his eyes glaze over. I speak:
- Yes, he is dying.
Women:
- How? He felt good!
“He’s dying,” I see: he sighed three times - and his soul came out. Of course, demons took this unrepentant soul. That's where the fear, horror is! After all, man has left this world for Eternity. Billions of years of suffering in the fire will pass - this is just the beginning, there will never be an end. And this was such a wonderful opportunity to repent! Not all people are worthy to have a priest come to them and bring the Holy Mysteries - the Body and Blood of Christ... These are the terrible deaths that happen.”
Can God save such a person who does not want to be saved? And who can guarantee that the suicide at the time of death did not have the same attitude towards God and His Church?
Some may reasonably note that there is demagoguery here - whether it is useful or not useful to pray with home prayer for suicides; according to Christian mercy and compassion, it is imperative to pray for such, and the Lord will judge. At first impression, such judgments seem justified. However...
When praying, prepare for serious temptations
Real prayer is not ecstatic meditation, it is work, but prayer for suicides, unbaptized people and great sinners is hard work! During which you will encounter strong spiritual temptations and deteriorating health of not only the prayer booker himself, but possibly all members of his family.
There is reason to believe that, perceiving the memory of the soul of the deceased, the person praying at the same time becomes, as it were, a companion of his spiritual state, enters the area of his spiritual yearnings, comes into contact with his sins, unpurified by repentance.
If the deceased was an Orthodox Christian and once in earthly life turned to God with a prayer request for mercy and forgiveness, then the one praying for him with the same prayers bows to him God's mercy and forgiveness. What if the soul passed into another world in a mood hostile to the Church? How can one, praying for an unbaptized person or a baptized person who has departed from the faith, allow oneself to come into some contact with that atheistic mood with which their soul was infected? How to accept into your soul all those ridicule, blasphemy, crazy speeches and thoughts with which their souls were full? Doesn't this mean exposing your soul to the danger of being infected by such sentiments? Those who reproach the Church for lack of mercy should think about all this.
An indicative case is from the life of the holy Venerable Seraphim of Sarov, he said that he managed to beg some great sinner, and after that, he, a great righteous man, a monk, was seriously ill for several months.
What awaits Christians who are not as righteous as St. Seraphim of Sarov, who undertook with his prayers to “save” a dear relative who killed himself?! Great temptations and health problems.
Experience shows that with the beginning of a private prayer commemoration not even about a suicide, but about an unbaptized parent who died, alas, in unbelief, almost immediately the disease almost immediately spread to the person praying, then to the wife (husband), and then to the children. Lord have mercy! I know a woman who prayed earnestly for her unbaptized father during pregnancy - it ended in a miscarriage.
One of the Ufa priests told me a case when, in the already distant Soviet years, a young man who began to zealously go to church, due to his excessive zeal, decided to save the souls of the dead, whose bodies lie in the Demskoye cemetery near the city of Ufa. There he compiled a large list with the names of the deceased, and prayed for the repose of everyone. Wild scandals began in the family between him and his wife, it came to divorce, his already adult children committed all serious sins; Of course, illnesses appeared, and the spiritual life of this person changed not for the better. The holy venerable Moses of Ufa, to whom this Christian then turned for advice, first of all asked him for whom he was praying. When he spoke about his prayerful “feat”, the first words of the monk were not at all biblical: “Are you a fool?!”, and then strictly forbade him to do this, pointing out that there were many serious sinners there: suicides, atheists, drunkards and etc.
Praying for relatives who have not been baptized in Orthodoxy is also not easy.
The conversation about unbaptized people was not started by chance. In practice, it turns out that a person is not only a suicide, but also a non-Christian.
The canon to St. is well known. Martyr Uar for unbaptized people. However, few people carefully read the story accompanying this canon about how, through the prayers of this righteous man, one unbaptized young man was pardoned, and interpreted what was told into life.
This young man, firstly, was a young man, forgive the pun, which means that, due to his age, he did not have time to sin many and seriously; secondly, apparently, he was pious; thirdly, he had a very pious Christian mother (you agree, this is important); fourthly, he knew about Christ, and, apparently, was preparing to receive Holy Baptism, but did not have time (before, Christians went to the catechumens not for a week or two, but for months, or even years); fifthly, those who were catechumens in those days necessarily sincerely repented of their sins, even without a priest’s confession, so who can object to me that such sincere repentance of sins is not spiritually beneficial and useless? What exactly am I leading to? Such a pious young man, the son of a pious Christian mother, already well-disposed towards Christ, was not worth the trouble of begging Saint Huar before God.
Now let’s imagine, for example, a woman who died at an advanced age, who lived in unbelief, blasphemed, fornicated, had abortions, stole (who didn’t steal in Soviet times?), etc., in short, with a great variety of all kinds of unrepentant sins. What can one hope for when trying to pray for her salvation to the holy intercessor Uar?!
However, the souls of relatives are still troubled in despair; is it really impossible to save or improve the situation of suicides, as well as unbaptized relatives?
If your spouse is pregnant, if there are infants and small children in the family, STRICTLY REFRAIN from praying at home for suicides and unbaptized people, especially for unbaptized suicides, in order to avoid health problems for small family members, pregnant and lactating women.
If all of the above conditions do not apply to you, of course, you can try to dare this home prayer feat. However NECESSARILY take a blessing from the priest, and if he refuses, do not act outrageously - this will not end well, and remember “obedience is greater than fasting and prayer.”
It is better to begin your prayer feat by imposing a fast on yourself (necessarily with a blessing!) or during multi-day fasts, if forty days after death no one privately prayed for such dead people. The Monk Nektary of Optina advised at least three Christians to pray together at once. Before and while you pray, confess and receive Holy Communion often, preferably even weekly (again, with blessing). Eat a piece of prosphora and holy water every day. Order a magpie about the health of yourself and close family members. Remember, prayer for suicides and great sinners is a great spiritual feat, do not do it casually, from time to time. I repeat, it is quite possible that, perceiving the memory of the soul of the deceased, the person praying at the same time becomes, as it were, a companion of his spiritual state, enters the area of his spiritual yearnings, comes into contact with his sins, unpurified by repentance. Naturally, nothing good can be expected from this. Even such a great ascetic as Seraphim of Sarov found it difficult to pray for some grave sinner.
There is another, I think, very pious and correct way of receiving mercy from God for a person. Read, along with prayers, the Gospel for the salvation of his soul, one or two chapters a day - “Faith therefore comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”(Rom. 10:17). Where will saving faith in Christ come from for a deceased unbaptized and suicide suicider of little faith if he does not know "words of God"? Alas, this is our common misfortune - many Orthodox Christians, even grandmothers who participate in divine services almost every day, do not read, or read little of the Holy Scriptures.
If you began to pray, and you, your loved ones, children began to have serious health problems, immediately give up your efforts and simply resign yourself, trusting in God’s mercy about the fate of this person’s soul.
“The justice of God will not make mistakes, and with this, reassure yourself, as much as possible.” - the already mentioned archimandrite wisely wrote John (Peasant).
Resigned with the fact of the suicide of a person close to you, live a worthy, righteous Christian life with faith in Christ the Savior, so that your soul is reunited with the Lord after death in paradise, and there directly from Him Himself find out the Divine will for this case. If there is a certain benefit from your prayers to a suicide, pray fervently while already in the Kingdom of God. Christians ask for righteous prayers from the saints of God, now standing before Him in paradise, for themselves and their deceased relatives. So what prevents a Christian who finds himself in heaven from praying for his relatives who are in hell?
As you know, church commemoration of suicides by name is PROHIBITED. There is no memorial service for suicides and there are no special days of remembrance for them, and church prayer is NOT offered for them. The prayer to the holy martyr Huar is offered not for suicides, but for the unbaptized.
In the hymns of Trinity Parental Saturday there are words in which we ask the Lord to bestow His mercy on those who have committed suicide, but at the same time there is still no commemoration by name, and particles are not taken out at the Liturgy for suicides.
Suicides are NEVER remembered(if there was no blessing for the funeral service).
For suicides, you can pray to your relatives yourself at home prayer, asking the Lord to show mercy to sinners who have raised their hands on their lives. You can give alms for his soul, you can light candles for his repose and pray yourself. Both at home and in church.
There is a known case when a person was asked to pray for repose on Mount Athos, but after a while the monks returned the money and said that the Lord did not accept the prayer - probably the person left on his own.
However, there are exceptions to the rules. Some suicides are given funeral services. These are cases where the person was mentally ill, or was in a state of such strong passion that insanity occurred. There must be appropriate medical documentation for this. But in any case, the priest DOES NOT have the right to perform such a funeral service without the blessing of the ruling bishop. Only if there is a written blessing from the bishop to perform such a burial, the priest can perform the funeral service for a suicide. If a priest independently makes such a decision, without the participation of the bishop, he is subject to punishment, up to and including banning him from the priesthood, or deprivation of his rank.
Church canons prohibit “offering and prayer” for suicides (Rule of St. Timothy of Alexandria, answer 14), as those who deliberately cut themselves off from communion with God
whoever “raises his hands against himself or throws himself down from on high”: “An offering is not appropriate for such a person, for he is a suicide”
The validity of this rule is confirmed by the spiritual experience of ascetics who, daring to pray for suicides, experienced irresistible heaviness and demonic temptations.
This rule of St. Timothy of Alexandria was directed against fallen members of the Church. However, at present, most of those who committed suicide are people who were baptized, but who did not receive either church education or church care. They end their lives not as a result of conscious opposition to God and the Church, but because they are “out of mind,” although this is not recorded by medical evidence. It is impossible for a priest who did not know the deceased in his life to decide how to relate to such a death, and relatives and friends of suicides, meeting the priest’s refusal to perform a funeral service, move even further away from the Church, without receiving consolation.
In this regard, the Holy Synod of the Russian Orthodox Church blesses, for the purpose of spiritual nourishment of the flock and uniformity of pastoral practice, it proposes, without performing funeral services for suicides and “offerings” for them, that is, commemoration in church, to teach the close and relatives of such deceased the following consoling prayers.
But it should be taken into account that This rite is not a memorial service, and is not performed either at the coffin, or at the grave, or at the funeral table in the church. This rite is actually a prayer service for consolation and support of the grieving relatives of the suicide. That is, such a prayer service will be performed specifically by separate agreement with the priest and always in the presence of relatives - in the temple.
In addition to performing the proposed rite, relatives and friends can take upon themselves, with the blessing of the priest, cell reading of the prayer of the Venerable Elder Leo of Optina:
Seek, O Lord, the lost soul of Your servant (name): if it is possible, have mercy. Your destinies are unsearchable. Do not make this my prayer a sin, but Thy holy will be done.
Most of all, such dead people are helped by the distribution of alms for them and the pious life of their relatives and friends.
The rite of prayerful consolation of relatives who died without permission
approved by the decision of the Holy Synod of the Russian
Orthodox Church dated July 27, 2011
Blessed be our God:
Trisagion according to Our Father:
Alleluia, tone 6. Verse 1: Lord, do not reprove me with Your wrath, / punish me with Your wrath. Verse 2: Have mercy on me, O Lord, / for I am weak.
Tropari: Have mercy on us, Lord have mercy on us:
Glory: Lord, have mercy on us:
And now: Mercy doors:
Psalm 50.
And abiye antiphon, voice 3:
Poem: Have mercy on us, O Lord, have mercy on us, / for we are filled with much humiliation (Ps. 122:3).
Heavenly Father, / more loving, more loving of mankind, / merciful, merciful, merciful, be merciful to us, / oh, who embraces all / and accepts all! (Kontakion of St. Roman the Sweet Singer in Great Thursday).
Poem: The speech is foolish in his heart: there is no God (Ps. 52:1).
Heavenly Father, / more loving, more loving of mankind, / merciful, merciful, merciful, be merciful to us, / oh, who embraces all / and accepts all!
Glory:
When, O Judge, You sat down as the Compassionate One, and showed Your terrible Glory, O Savior: oh, what fear then, of the burning cave, to all those who fear Your unbearable judgment! (Great Pok. Canon. Read., paragraph 8, tr. 4).
And now:
There are no other imams of help, / no other imams of hope, / unless You, Lady, / help us, / we rely on You, / and we boast in You, / for we are Your servants, let us not be ashamed.
Let's pray to the Lord.
Lord have mercy.
Prayer
Master, Lord, Merciful and Lover of Mankind, we cry to You: we have sinned and committed lawlessness before You, we have transgressed Your saving commandments and the love of the Gospel has not been revealed to our despairing brother (our despairing sister). But do not reprove us with Your wrath, punish us with Your wrath, O Master who loves mankind, weaken, heal our heartfelt sorrow, may the multitude of Your bounties overcome the abyss of our sins, and may Your countless goodness cover the abyss of our bitter tears.
To her, Sweetest Jesus, we still pray, grant to Your servant, your relative who died without permission, consolation in their sorrow and firm hope in Your mercy.
For You are a Merciful and Lover of Mankind, and we send glory to You with Your Beginning Father and Your Most Holy and Good and Life-Giving Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.
Wisdom.
Most Holy Theotokos save us.
Most honorable Cherub:
Bless in the name of the Lord, father.
Regular (small) vacation.
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